Why People Cheat - The Major Reasons
Cheating in relationships: It may not be the seven year
itch...
When an illicit relationship is
discovered by an innocent spouse it is very common for that person to exclaim that it "came completely out of the
blue".
 This is not an uncommon assertion, however there are usually signs that
point to the fact that a partner may be cheating in a marriage even though those signs may be quite
subtle.
Check our our article on signs of
cheating.
Throughout life, opportunities for an affair will often present themselves - in most cases these
opportunities will be resisted.
Affairs that do happen are normally as the result of problems in a relationship that are
not being resolved.
Why do people cheat on their spouses?
Outined below are six of the major reasons why people cheat in their marriage and turn to another person for sexual
intimacy. - It must be said that this action is normally the result of something that is missing, or perceived
to be missing, in a relationship.
1. Protest
Believe it or not there are some people who consider that they are within their rights to have
an extamarital affair. Particularly if they and their spouse are constantly
arguing with each other. They will often seek solace and peace in the arms of someone else as compensation -
which they see as their right!
2. Insecurity
There may be many reasons for this - for
example:
3. Sex & Love
When one of the spouses has declining, or no interest, in a sexual relationship with their
partner but the partner's sexual feelings are still strong, an affair is often seen as the answer to sexual
fulfillment.
A person may still require the same sort of love that they first had in their relationship so
many years ago. This is of course unrealistic because the total sexual and emotional "in love" feeling that both
partners had for each other is a transitory thing - many people don't recognize this and yearn for what was in the
early period of their relationship.
When that rush of "sexually charged love" goes, a spouse may think that something is wrong with
their relationship and look for satisfaction elsewhere.
In many of these cases an unfaithful spouse will convince themselves that they have only
indulged in an illicit relationship because of what is sometimes called the "fun" is missing from their
marital relationship.
4. The One Night Stand
We often hear about "the one night stand" - this is more often than not an extramarital affair
that has little relevance to the person that has indulged in it.
Often such an illicit affair is conducted in a state of intoxication or out of sexual
curiousity. The impact on your partner, if they find out about it, can be devastating nevertheless.
5. Growing Apart
Couples interests change and may go in different directions, often reaching a point where they
can no longer give each other what they need.
6. Breakdown of a Relationship
When a relationship reaches the stage where there are irreconcilable differences it is common
for one or both partners to go about searching for someone else so that they have companionship when the marriage
dissolves.
What are the two main reasons why some people are inclined to cheat?
The following reasons are why some people are ‘affair prone’, and continue to cheat throughout a
committed marital relationship, although they usually have no intention of breaking it up:
Excitement
Some people who cheat are simply hooked on the excitment of the initial
feelings of love and intimacy that they experienced in their marriage even though they recognize that this is a
situation that doesn't last.
They don't want to leave their marriage partner so they get involved in a series of secret "one
night stands" and other exciting experiences such as clandestine meetings with members of the opposite sex. These
encounters may or may not involve sexual intimacy.
Fear of Intimacy
For some people the intimacy of a committed relationship is too hard to handle. An affair, short
or long term, becomes a means of creating distance and privacy.
For those involved in a long term affair they have in effect established two part time
relationships, one involving their spouse and the other with their partner outside marriage. In this scenario
they have effectively eliminated the possibility of having full intimacy with either.
Do you want to change your life?
Find out ways to assess your failing marriage and take positive steps to resolve your problems
and reignite the passion you once had. The heartache and pain from marital trauma could be solved or avoided at the
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