Many marriage commentators believe that trust should be established before a couple decide to
marry or propose to live together as loving partners.
Matters such as being honest with each other about past misdemeanors, past relationships, fears
and concerns, your dreams for your future life together and so on.
Opening up to your future spouse in this way so that they will be able to understand your
willingness to be a person who can be trusted, supportive and candid, will provide the building blocks for an open,
honest, trustworthy and healthy marriage.
Build upon this foundation by always treating your partner as an equal and never resorting to
secretive behavior, put downs, or aggressiveness. Trust can be destroyed by a simple action or word.
Sometimes it is better for couples to give themselves space to cool down rather than to indulge
in unproductive negative comment or criticism.
To assist those couples who feel that they need
additional relationship support to help eliminate any discord in their relationship, we have included a review on
this site of the best marriage guides currently
available.
Rebuilding trust in a
marriage
If you have reason for changing your mind about the need to carry out a particular action
discuss the reasons with your spouse. You may consider this to be a small matter but it is surprising for most
people to learn that neglecting to involve their partner in decisions that concern you both can not only cause
conflict but can impact negatively on your trustworthiness and even lead to lack of respect.
Reliability is also something that many people have trouble with such as being on time for a
date, for a meal, to pick up the kids, forgetting to make a purchase on the way home as promised.
Reliability and trust in relationships go hand in glove, a person who is unreliable is also
untrustworthy... Trust can be broken in many ways of course. Some of the most serious are hiding addictions such as
alcohol or drug abuse and gambling... these invariably lead to
financial problems which addicts always endeavor to hide.
Then there is the most soul destroying concern of
all
Your partner is having AN AFFAIR the ultimate betrayal of trust in
marriage.
Approximately one in five men and one in six women have an extramarital affair at some point in their life. The numbers are even
higher if emotional affairs are included.
An emotional affair can be even more threatening to a married couples relationship than a
physical affair, because the lover replaces the spouse as the primary source of emotional well-being and
companionship.
Temptation is everywhere, and as men and women spend more time with each other away from their
partners, giving into that temptation becomes easier... Not meeting one another's emotional needs is the single
greatest cause of affairs. When relationships are struggling, both men and women look elsewhere to get their
emotional needs met and easily find themselves in the arms of someone "who appreciates them."
If your spouse is unwilling to discuss an affair with you, refuses to stop seeing their lover,
and accuses you of causing him or her to have the affair, you will have many challenges to overcome to get your
marriage back together again. If it becomes impossible to alter this unfortunate situation then sooner or later you
will be heading for the divorce court.
Help is available right
now
Lack of trust in a marriage is a major relationship killer. In her best selling guide
"Save My Marriage
Today" counselor, relationship coach, therapist and author Amy Waterman provides
positive solutions to resolving this and other major issues and help strengthen your marital bond.