Marriage Reconciliation: How It Should Be Managed.
Marriage reconciliation - the initial contact.
The approach for assistance involving a marriage break up is generally initiated by only one of
the ex partners - sometimes the man but more often the woman.
In the early stages of consultation with a guidance counselor it is standard practice for them to
deal exclusively with the party who made the initial approach. This is considered the most
effective way of managing the situation as that particular party has already demonstrated a desire
to reconcile. An experienced counselor will have dealt with most marital problems and will devise a
plan to help guide you through the reconciliation
process. You may however be confident of dealing with your break up in your own way
without any additional help.
It is important to be totally honest with yourself.
Step one in achieving marriage reconciliation is to spend time examining what the reason(s) were for your marital difficulties and then making a decision as to whether or not it is likely that these difficulties can be overcome. You must be painstakingly honest with yourself about the reason(s) for the marital difficulties which led to the reason for you marriage falling apart. If you just fudge things and are not prepared to air, or admit to yourself, the reasons for your troubled relationship, (and the part that you may have played in it) then if you do manage to get back together, the chances are that you will just head down the same path as before with no hope for a lasting reconciliation.
There may be some negative aspects concerning your demeanor, dress, attitude, stubbornness and so on that you can work on remedying. If you are able to identify with any of these or any other negative traits then it would pay to work on changing them for the betterment of your relationship.
The process of approaching your ex partner.
Many are very wary as to how to make the initial contact. However there are some simple ways of achieving this:
- There's the casual approach where you meet "unexpectedly" at a place that you know your ex frequents.
- Take the initiative and write, text or email, asking for a chat to just catch up over a coffee etc. This is not always the most successful approach as the written word tends to be rather impersonal and unless written very carefully can easily be misinterpreted.
- Generally the most successful approach is to have a mutual friend act as a go between to set up a casual meeting with a view to discussing matters of mutual interest.
It is advantageous at the initial meeting with your ex to simply keep the conversation super cool. Cover superficial topics only, unless you are drawn into a deeper conversation by your ex--then go with the flow. Your spouse may be just as interested as you are to save your marriage. If the subject of your reconciliation doesn't arise then just lay the ground work for another meeting at which you can carefully weave the matter of a second try into the conversation.
To a successful marriage|
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Kind Regards
Brad & Michelle
Richie
Relationship Counselors
Website:www.saveyourmarriageadvice.com
Email:bradandmichelle@saveyourmarriageadvice.com
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