How Marriage Reconciliation Should be Handled.

Marriage reconciliation - the initial approach

We have normally found in our profession as relationship counselors that the approach for assistance involving a marital break up is initiated by only one of the ex partners - sometimes the man but more often the woman.

It is our view that in the interests of restoring the marriage to a sound footing it is often better to work initially with the partner who made the approach as they have already demonstrated a willingness to reconcile.

Be honest with yourself

The first step to reconciling your marriage relationship is to analyze just what went wrong in your marriage and then determine whether or not it's possible to repair the relationship.

You must be scrupulously honest with yourself about the reason(s) for the marital difficulties which led to the break up. If you just fudge things and are not prepared to air, or admit to yourself, the reasons for your troubled relationship, (and the part that you may have played in it) then if you do manage to get back together the chances are that you will just head down the same path as previously with no hope for a permanent marriage reconciliation.

If there are some negative things that you have decided you need to change in the interests of reconciliation, for example, your attitude, demeanor, lack of compromise or forgiveness and so on, then it is important that you do so.

Approaching your ex partner

This is considered by most to be the hard part. There are several ways of accomplishing this.

• The casual approach at a place that you are aware that your ex frequents.
• Write, text or email asking for a meeting over a coffee etc.
• Have a friend act as an intermediary to set up a meeting to discuss matters of mutual interest. (This is our favored approach).

It is advantageous at the initial meeting with your ex to simply keep the discussion super cool. Cover superficial matters only, unless you are drawn into a deeper conversation by you ex, then go with the flow, he/she may be just as keen as you are for a reconciliation. Otherwise just lay the ground work for a further meeting at which you can carefully weave the matter of a second try into the conversation.

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Kind Regards
 

Brad & Michelle Richie
Relationship Counselors

Website:www.saveyourmarriageadvice.com
Email:bradandmichelle@saveyourmarriageadvice.com

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